The following Poems were written December 9, 2009.
(two!) (one!) There's a hundred boys and girls stretching and running by while I'm dormant and sitting on purple bleachers. The only thing keeping me from passing out it is the brightness of these goddamn lights. You see, my health ain't doing that well. Lack of sleep, a bad liver in the making, and a pack a day are really fucking with my system and Jesus Christ, I just apologized to some bitch I don't even care about. I need a cut from the boy down the road and I need to make love cause I'm sick of fucking and I'm sick of bullshit hookups that only feel well for the moment, not the morning. I just need something to get me through this next hour; like a song, like an album, like some action, like a long drive, like some fresh air, like an inhale, like a tear. This seat's no longer comfortable.
So, you got back with your old boyfriend, the one who used to hit you
and leave you black eyes for Christmas-
you could do so much better
and I know it's expected
that a woman in your position
would return to her past,
but we raised you better than that
and if you only opened your eyes, what a wonderful world you'd find
where the grass is green and the lillies grow wild..
You wouldn't need an excuse to mark up your arm
or wear those long sleeves
because we'll always accept you; no matter what
and I hope that you see and realize this all for yourself; I'm just a mere voice in your head.
(three!)
I ruined your life when you gave birth to me; I mean look at what you could have fucking become! Now, you're reduced to a poor single mother with a drinking problem and too many bills. I'd like to tell you that some day my words will make a little bit of money , but I can't promise anything.
You sit in that room with your basic cabled and microwed meals; your shirt is stained and your hair is unkempt.
All I've done is take from you. I've left you with nothing more to give.
I'm sorry.
